From Stress to Strategy: Practical Ways to Handle Common Dementia Behaviors
Caring Through Challenging Behaviors
Caring for someone with dementia can feel like you’re on call 24/7—especially when difficult behaviors show up again and again. Repetitive questions, wandering, or late-day agitation (“sundowning”) don’t just test your patience; they can stir guilt and leave you wondering if you’re doing enough.
Here’s the truth: no caregiver is born knowing how to handle these behaviors. Just like new parents learning to manage toddler tantrums, dementia caregivers need tools, practice, and support. The good news is that these skills can be learned—and when you practice ahead of time, they become second nature in stressful moments.
That’s what we’re offering here: practical strategies for three of the most common and challenging dementia behaviors. Each section explains why it happens, what not to do, and what you can try instead—with real examples you can use right away.
Repetitive Questioning
Your loved one may ask the same question again and again—even if you’ve just answered it. Over time, this can wear down your patience and leave you feeling guilty if you snap. For the person with dementia, though, the memory of asking isn’t there—so they don’t understand your frustration.
Why this happens
The Alzheimer’s Association explains that repetitive questions often stem from short-term memory loss combined with emotional needs like anxiety or insecurity. Even if your loved one can’t recall the answer, they may still feel the worry that prompted the question in the first place. Clinical research also shows that Alzheimer’s disease impairs episodic memory, making it nearly impossible for the brain to store that a question has already been asked (National Library of Medicine).
What not to do
- Don’t argue (“I just told you that!”).
- Don’t ignore completely—silence may heighten worry.
What redirection looks like in real life
Written reminders: If the question is “What time is lunch?” write it on a whiteboard: “Lunch is at 12:00.” Smile and point to it when they ask.
Reassurance first: If they ask, “Where’s Mom?” (who passed away long ago), try: “You’re safe here. Let’s have some tea while we wait.”
Sensory grounding: Offer a comfort tool like a busy mat or baby doll (many Town Square members love holding Abby the doll). Having something to hold can calm the urge to repeat.
Practice this skill
Pick one question your loved one often repeats. Write down two calm, consistent responses. Place a sticky note with one answer in a visible spot. Next time the question comes, use your script instead of improvising. Notice how it feels when you don’t have to reinvent the answer each time.
Need help managing dementia behaviors?
Even the most patient caregiver needs backup. At Town Square NW Austin, our trained staff use reminiscence therapy and structured activities to reduce agitation and create calmer days. Caregivers gain peace of mind knowing their loved one is safe, engaged, and supported. Ask About Caregiver Relief
Sundowning
Sundowning is when confusion, agitation, or even hallucinations grow stronger in the late afternoon or evening. For caregivers, this can be overwhelming—just as you’re ready to rest, your loved one’s distress may be peaking.
Why this happens
The Mayo Clinic and Alzheimer’s Association note that sundowning is linked to internal “body clock” changes, loss of natural cues from daylight, and fatigue. As dementia progresses, the brain struggles to regulate sleep-wake cycles. Shorter days or overstimulating environments can intensify symptoms.
What not to do
- Don’t over-explain (“It’s 7 p.m., nothing scary is happening”)—logic rarely soothes fear.
- Don’t escalate—raising your voice or showing frustration often makes behaviors spiral.
What redirection looks like in real life
Shift to calming rituals: Offer a warm drink, soft blanket, or gentle hand massage with a phrase like: “It’s time to get cozy now.”
Use environmental cues: Close blinds before dusk, switch on lamps, and play soft music. If they say, “I need to go home,” try: “Let’s get comfortable first, then we’ll talk after dinner.”
Soothing sensory tools: A photo album, familiar music, or a textured object can ground them gently.
Practice this skill
Create one “wind-down ritual” you can repeat every evening—maybe tea and music, or a photo album session. Pair it with the same cue phrase (“It’s our evening time now”). Over time, consistency can make evenings calmer for both of you.
Wandering
Wandering doesn’t always mean slipping out the front door (though that’s a danger to watch). Many caregivers see loved ones pace restlessly through the house, searching for something or shadowing their every move.
Why this happens
The Alzheimer’s Association estimates that 6 in 10 people with dementia will wander at least once. Wandering can be triggered by disorientation, restlessness, or a desire to follow old routines—like going to work or catching a bus. Experts at Hebrew SeniorLife add that wandering may also reflect unmet needs such as hunger, bathroom use, or companionship.
What not to do
- Don’t scold or restrain—this can increase agitation or fear.
- Don’t dismiss it as “aimless”—wandering usually has an emotional or physical trigger.
What redirection looks like in real life
Match the motion: Walk with them for a few minutes, saying: “Let’s stretch our legs together.”
Create safe loops: Clear pathways and place chairs at intervals so pacing can happen safely.
Offer purposeful destinations: If they’re “waiting for the bus,” guide them to the porch: “The bus will come later—let’s sit with some tea.”
Use visual cues for orientation: Place clear signs, photos, or labels on doors and rooms so your loved one feels more grounded. Research shows that orientation cues can reduce disorientation and wandering risk (Alzheimer Society of Canada).
Practice this skill
Note the time of day wandering usually happens. Set up a safe walking loop with good lighting and a chair to pause. Prepare a comfort phrase (“We’re safe here, let’s walk together”). Use this routine for a week and observe if it eases anxiety.
Caregiver Tip: Growth Takes Space—for Both of You
Managing dementia is not about perfection—it’s about progress, practice, and shared routines. Just as your loved one needs structured engagement, you need rest and support. Group therapy, counseling, or caregiver-focused programs can offer immense relief.
At Town Square NW Austin, our CHAMP Philosophy ensures every member feels safe, valued, and engaged through Connection, Health & Harmony, Activity, Memory support, and Purpose. While your loved one participates in activities designed to ease dementia and Alzheimer’s symptoms, you gain the freedom to recharge. Both sides of the equation need space to breathe, learn, and grow. Let Town Square be part of your team.
